Yunho hears their last conversation in his head as they fall beneath the blue.
Say one last prayer
But don't say that you loved me.
Katy Perry; I’m Still Breathing
You’re always telling him, you remember in the recesses of your mind, to be careful of the words he says, to curb the honesty in his body language. You have to act like you want to be here, you tell him.
Even if I don’t like ships, he says.
Even if you don’t, you agree.
So must I act like I don’t love you either, Yunho-ah?
Jaejoong’s smile fades in between shades of aquamarine.
Pain enters your lungs instead of air. Your eyes fly open, and you see him, his skin blue against the soft teal of sunlight in salt water. You have to act like you want to be here. The last of those words echo in your head as you watch him, hair curling gently against high cheekbones as precious air escapes his rosy lips in bubbles. There’s nothing in your lungs, you realize, as your eyes flutter -
Jaejoong’s gaze meets yours, sleepy and doe-eyed and so, so beautiful. You want to ask yourself why you never quite noticed the way the sun bounces off the strands of his hair, black to blue even under the strains of light above the surface. Jaejoong is falling down, down, down even as you hold him, suspended in the water like air.
I can’t help it if I’m honest. Jaejoong’s eyelashes brush against porcelain skin, and you reach forward even if every pore of your being is drowning.
Don’t do this, Jaejoong-ah. It’s not
Right? His body curls into yours, and he’s slipping past you into unconsciousness, and you say his name – you try to. Your breaths come out like nothing, trickles of life tickling your cheek as it floats to the surface. The trails of sunlight are disappearing above you as the shadows dim the beauty of Jaejoong’s face. Teal to dim cobalt, and his nose is in your shoulder. Yunho-ah.
Jaejoong. You whisper his name, your voice lost in the void of ocean. Jaejoong. Don’t do this.
His eyes slip open, soft grey against the blue. He’s delirious, you know, and death is creeping into the rose of his lips as a smile tugs at the corners. Do what, Yunho? Do this?
His lips press into yours, softness and salt and life rolled into one. You can’t breathe, and it’s not so much the water in your lungs as it is Jaejoong. The last vestiges of life uncurl from your body, and you can’t do anything, be anything, except feel him against you the way he’s always wanted to be.
Jaejoong, we can’t – you know we…
Jaejoong’s fingers are solid in yours, so tight that you know he’ll never let you go now, no matter how hard you try. I know. You watch his eyes, once so beautiful under a thousand stage lights, lifeless and empty as he gazes right into you. I know. But please, maybe once in awhile, let us just
You bury your head into Jaejoong’s shoulder, hold him close and let your heart stop as you feel your lungs give out. The dying streams of light from the surface blue flicker grey and black and grey again, like the colour of his eyes. The last of you disappears into the aqua above, as you look at Jaejoong for the last time and forget how to